Last night I watched one of those rare media moments--a sincere apology.
Apologies, especially from leaders, typically fall into one of the following categories:
- The Sequential: Step One--I sinned a little. Step Two--Okay, so I actually sinned bigger than I said before. Step Three--All right, so I sinned big time and you caught me. I’ll resign.
- The Narcissistic: I want to apologize because I can see that what I did (even though I think what I did is perfectly fine for me to do) is making you not like me as much, and for that I'm truly sorry.
- The Justification: Yes, I did wrong, but let me explain why I am actually the victim and didn't have any choice.
- The Mountain Out of a Molehill: I can't believe this has been blown so out of proportion that I have to apologize. (An objective observer might agree. But from the leader's perspective, he or she needs to defuse the issue quickly in order to get back to priorities.)
Michael Richards (Kramer on Seinfeld) apologized last night in a satellite interview with
David Letterman for racial slurs directed at a man who was heckling him last Friday at a comedy club. Jerry Seinfeld was David's guest and had arranged for Richards to appear. I found the apology very convincing. What did Richards do right?
Before the interview:
- First, he had recognized immediately he was wrong and came back on stage later in the evening to apologize. Most of the audience who had heard him were gone however.
- Second, he sought help from a close friend, who is also well liked by the public, namely, Seinfeld. Having Seinfeld do a lead in to the interview, and quiet Letterman’s audience was helpful.
During the interview:
- Richards seemed to fully understand how hurtful his racial tirade was both to his live audience specifically and to African Americans in general.
- He acknowledged that the audience members who took the story to the media were justified in doing so. "It was the right thing to do."
- He was shocked and confused by his actions. His sorrow appeared to be very real and very deep.
- He appeared more concerned about the effects of his behavior on others and less with whatever impact the fallout will have on him.
Did Richards make any missteps? He came close. At one point he started to connect his anger with the anger of people affected by Hurricane Katrina and anger between nations. For a moment he sounded more like a scripted political activist than the sincere guy I had been hearing. Fortunately, he didn’t pursue the analogy.
Guidelines for Leaders: Recognize fast that you screwed up, look deep inside and try to figure out what went wrong, enlist a respected ally, be open and direct. Show more concern for others than for yourself.
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