Michael Deaver--The Great Listener

"[Although] Mike was a famous communicator... we knew him as the Great Listener. Mike knew instinctively that real communication wasn't about talking at people, but about connecting with them…at first, by listening."

That observation by Henry Pierce, Executive Director of Clean & Sober Streets during his remarks at Michael Deaver's memorial service, is the lesson of this post. It's one more example of how listening is the language of leaders.

But I hope you will read the rest of Mr. Pierce's remarks (quoted below) because they will give you insight into what made Mike so good at creating messages everyone could understand--

he understood and respected others.

When Mike died, I wrote Michael Deaver--Tribute to a Hero. Some readers objected to the term, hero. "Was he not convicted of a crime??" wrote one. Perhaps the experiences Mr. Pierce shares will explain better than I was able, why Michael Deaver was and remains a hero. (Note: I have made minor changes to shorten the speech and have added emphasis.)

My name is Henry Pierce.  Fifteen years ago, I was a heroin abuser on the streets of Washington D.C., hitting rock bottom in an abandoned building....I thought it was over for me. A friend took me to a place called Clean and Sober Streets, which was just getting started as a substance abuse treatment and rehabilitation program for the homeless and economically disadvantaged.

I had my initial intake assessment at 6:30 that Friday morning, with three people. There were the organization’s co-founders, Julia Lightfoot and Marsh Ward....And there was this man in a jacket and baseball cap, holding a box of donuts. He offered me a donut and a cup of coffee… and his hand in friendship. For the first time in a very long time, I started to feel human again.

His name was Mike Deaver.

In the days to come, Mike told me his own personal story of hitting bottom – and of finding a path to recovery. Though we came from VERY different places we arrived at the same one spiritually. He helped me to envision a future… to recapture my values and self-respect… and to get back on the path every time I stumbled. I had his home number. I could call him at any time. That’s a lot of power for a dope fiend coming off the streets – and a lot of love.

Today, I’m Executive Director of Clean and Sober Streets. Since that first Friday morning, I’ve seen probably two-thousand men and women come through those same doors. And every one of them has a personal Mike Deaver story to tell.  Over 100 of us are here today...

Mike was our Guardian Angel. We had him on loan from Heaven.

Mike Deaver may have come to Washington, attracted by the opportunity to make sweeping changes in our country. And he certainly did impact the lives of millions of Americans at a time.   But I got to a Mike who shaped and re-built lives one at a time.  Let me tell you about the “one-on-one Mike”.

While Mike was a famous communicator... we knew him as the Great Listener. Mike knew instinctively that real communication wasn't about talking at people, but about connecting with them…at first, by listening.

So often, my assistant would tell me, “he’s in the building” … and there was Mike -- by himself, dropping off some clothes… walking the floor, and stopping to sit by someone whose life was a shambles -- and just listen: to their story, to their ailing self-respect, to their frail hope for a future.

Mike could have spent his entire life surrounded by presidents and kings and corporate leaders. Instead, he took his access to the corridors of power -- and placed it in our service. I walked into our exercise room one day… and there you were, Mrs. Reagan, offering encouragement to a weight-lifter about twice your size. Later Mike told me he just had to show off the place. And show us off he did, taking us to foundations and private donors who keep us financially alive to this day..

Mike Deaver practiced what he preached. He knew who he was: he was the same, solid man in the company of the world's most powerful, and its least. He stood for the future – he was the future - for those of us unable to find one on our own. He was all about values: he truly believed that each of us has "the honorable" in our name, to be confirmed by how we live our lives.

And every Christmas Eve – when he could have chosen anywhere in the world to celebrate – he chose us. Mike and crew would show up with trays and pies and turkeys, and he’d oversee the affair with the same attention to detail he gave President Reagan’s appearance on the Cliffs of Normandy. Then he would sit down at the piano, and lead the Christmas carol singing.

He was on hand for every Step Up graduation ceremony -- and helped placed dozens of our graduates in their first real jobs....

Mike: we will forever miss your gentle spirit, your kindness and compassion, your quiet counsel and guiding hand of friendship -- and your consummate love. As we are all equal here in God's house, you have made us feel all equal here in your heart.

(Delivered at the Washington National Cathedral, September 6, 2007 by Henry Pierce, Exec Dir., Clean & Sober Streets, P.O Box 77114, Washington, DC 20013) (Used with the kind permission of Mr. Pierce)

Comments

[sober living]

This is a great tribute i found that its good to know more about,thanks for sharing this very informative.

cletsey

[Demond Jackson]

This is a great post. I can really tell that Mike was not only a shecial man, but he also had a deep connection with you. I know you will miss him in his absence. May god be with you.

[Lou]

Thanks for the comment, Tuck. A friend of mine, Jim Comer, says "Patience is the currency of love." I agree, and I think a big part of that patience is listening.

[Tuck, The Rebel Belle]

What a fabulous and heartwarming tribute. Thanks so much for sharing. I work with Katrina evacuees here in South Carolina. I too have discovered what these individuals long for more than anything, in fact what we all long for, is “listening”, and to be heard. Thanks for the reminder and the enlightening tribute to Michael Deaver.