Speak to Lead

March is International Listening Awareness Month - DC Event

This is International Listening Awareness Month, a time to focus on using the power of listening to make our lives, our communities, and our nations better.

As part of the awareness campaign, I am presenting a free workshop in Washington DC (21st & L NW) on Thursday, March 21, 2013 from 3:00 to 4:30pm.

I've titled the workshop, Listening - The Super Hero of Communication: How to listen your way to higher profits, healthier businesses, and happier relationships. 

Here are some of the things those attending will learn:

• 4 Cs of listening. Apply these and your listening will improve immediately.
• 5 listening behaviors speakers hate. (You probably use at least two.)
• How a start up snatched a multi-million dollar contract from an industry giant, all because of better listening skills.
• Why so called "active listening" can backfire, and a technique to use instead.

Admission is free, but reservations are required. CLICK HERE for more details and to register.

Although most of you know me for my presentations, speech coaching, and news interview training, listening has fascinated me since I was a kid. I have studied and conducted listening research since the mid-1970s. And I find that:

Listening is exciting, powerful, rewarding! 

If you're nearby, come join me on the 21st. If you're not in the Washington DC metro area, but know people here who would benefit from the workshop, please let them know.

 

Listeners beware: Interrupting can be hazardous to your health!

A few years ago, I conducted a survey of over 250 business executives. I asked them to list behaviors on the part of listeners they found irritating. I then asked them to select the behavior they found most irritating. 

The winner? Interrupting. (By a two-to-one margin over the runner up.)

Now two of my Certified Listening Professional^TM1 colleagues, Dr. Rick Bommelje and Dr. Manny Steil, report that interrupting can be bad for your health.

Here is the report from their "Listening Leaders Newsletter:"

Several university studies have found that people who interrupt conversations are at greater risk for heart problems.

In fact, one study at Duke University found that people who interrupt are up to seven times more likely to get heart disease!

Why is this so? The researchers theorize that people who interrupt are excessively competitive and controlling - two hallmarks of the worst "Type A" personalities.

But here is the amazing kicker: These same high-risk people can lower their risk without totally altering their personalities...and without any drugs, exercise or dietary changes.

All they have to do is practice being good listeners.

In one study, the test subjects focused on being silent while others talked.

The result? They lowered both their blood pressure and their stress hormone levels.

Listening Leader Laser Lesson: The next time you interrupt someone, consider the costs to yourself. 

Copyright by International Listening Leaders Institute. Reprinted with permission from "The Listening Leaders Newsletter," a weekly internet newsletter. For your own personal subscription, go to www.ListeningLeaders.com  

¹Trademark of the International Listening Association (www.Listen.org)

 

 

Communicate Instructions Accurately: 2 Rules to Ensure Speaker & Listener Are "On the Same Page"

Ever wondered why people didn't understand your instructions?

Ever been confused about what you were supposed to do when someone gave you instructions?

Perhaps the overview was left out.

Good rule when you're communicating directions, processes, procedures, instructions: Begin with an overview (including desired result), then go to specifics.

Good rule when you're listening to directions, instructions, etc.: If the speaker jumps right into the details, ask him or her to back up and give the overview.

I was reminded of these guidelines while holding an ice pack to my jaw, reviewing the invoice for two dental implants. An invoice for twice what

Corporate Communication: It's Not What the Speaker Says, But What the Listener Hears that Counts

In corporate communication, indeed in all communication, it's not what the speaker or writer says that's the ultimate communication. It's how the listener or reader interprets what was said that counts.

An obvious point, but one we need to remind ourselves of frequently.

This week the Plain English Campaign (PEC) issued it's annual Foot in the Mouth Awards. And while the statements that earned their creators the award are fun to read, I thought the most interesting part was having readers rewrite, in plain English, a response to a customer's question posted on Virgin Trains web site. Wonderful diversity of nuanced interpretation.

You'll find the original and the rewrites about half way through the BBC's Come Again? article.

Political Sound Bites--What the Candidates Say & What We Hear

Regardless of what we say, the ultimate communication is what our listeners hear.

This is a particular problem for political candidates when listeners aren't buying their spin.

Walt Handelsman, two-time Pulitzer Prize-winning nationally syndicated editorial cartoonist for Newsday, lets us in on what potential voters are really hearing from current Republican and Democratic presidential candidates.

Enjoy a refreshing look at political sound bites in Walt's animated cartoon, What they say, what we hear.

Michael Deaver--The Great Listener

"[Although] Mike was a famous communicator... we knew him as the Great Listener. Mike knew instinctively that real communication wasn't about talking at people, but about connecting with them…at first, by listening."

That observation by Henry Pierce, Executive Director of Clean & Sober Streets during his remarks at Michael Deaver's memorial service, is the lesson of this post. It's one more example of how listening is the language of leaders.

But I hope you will read the rest of Mr. Pierce's remarks (quoted below) because they will give you insight into what made Mike so good at creating messages everyone could understand--

Listening: Language of Leadership--Not Speaking It Could Be Fatal

Speak to Lead is all about how you as leaders can create and deliver persuasive oral messages. So why am I writing about listening?

First, because I believe listening is the "language of leadership." It enables you to establish rapport and build trust with those you lead. Second, you will be a more persuasive speaker if you listen to those you seek to persuade so you know what their concerns and interests are.

I frequently bike in Rock Creek Park, one of the many great biking spots in the District of Columbia. The road I was on usually has light traffic, but during the rush hours traffic volume increases significantly. And although there are bike paths most of the way, there are sections where riding on the road itself is necessary, even though the shoulder is narrow.

While waiting for an opening

Story Power: Help Audiences Remember What You Say

Yesterday as I read the newspaper accounts of first quarter fund raising by GOP presidential hopefuls, my mind jumped back to the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) where I had heard all (except McCain) of them speak. (See also Non-Partisan Lessons Learned at CPAC) Now, one month later, what content did I still remember from their speeches? The answer: Vivid stories--ones I could picture in my mind.

If we consider content in the broader aspect of general themes, then all the speakers did well. I remember Romney's record of solving problems and cutting taxes; Giuliani's success in reducing crime, cutting the size of government, and responding to crisis; Brownback's family orientation; Tancredo's passion about controlling the borders.

But in terms of helping me remember specific content, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee wins big time. Here, in abbreviated form, without having reviewed the notes I took at the time, and using direct quotes which are actually paraphrases, is what I can tell you:

Public Speaking: Listen to Others

Recently I had the opportunity of hearing Judge Thomas B. Griffith of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit speak. Although Griffith was the main speaker, he was preceded by three speakers from the organization he was addressing.
Many keynote speakers use the time someone else is presenting to review their notes. Others sit politely awaiting their turn. Griffith listened.
He began his speech by quoting a remark made by the first speaker and commenting on the insight and significance of the remark. He did the same for the second and third speakers. Then he tied their remarks into his theme.
This does three things:

1. The other speakers feel great. The "main attraction" that the audience has come to hear has recognized and validated what they said. What a wonderful compliment.
2. The audience feels great. The earlier speakers are more representative of the majority of the audience than the main speaker is. Complimenting those speakers indirectly compliments the audience.
   
3. The speaker comes across as a good guy. Even though he is a judge on what many people consider the second highest court in the land, Griffith demonstrates he values other people and connects to the audience.

Lesson: Listening is one of the most powerful ways to show respect, especially when it is demonstrated by referring to a specific comment the speaker has made. When you're not speaking, listen to what others are saying.

State of the Union Review-Part II: Throat Lozenge or Chewing Gum-Pelosi’s Dilemma

On camera for nearly an hour with millions of people watching and nothing to say-welcome to the world of Vice President Cheney and House Speaker (but on this occasion House Listener) Nancy Pelosi. Put yourself in their shoes. You are sitting behind the president. He is the main feature. But you are constantly visible in the camera shot. What should you be doing?

Many of us face the same situation, although in much lower-profile circumstances, when we are seated at a head table or on the platform while someone else speaks, or even in a meeting when we are seated near the speaker. What’s the protocol?

Except in those posturing situations where you are strategically nodding, shaking the head, or rolling the eyes in response, your focus should be on the speaker. First, it’s the considerate thing to do. Second, if someone in the audience looks away from the speaker and sees you, his or her attention will be directed to whatever you are focused on.

So how did the Veep and the Speaker do? Mrs. Pelosi has a very pleasant neutral expression and for the most part kept her attention on the president. Early in the speech, however, she started pursing her lips and moving her lower jaw. “Chewing gum,” was my first reaction. But the movement was not consistent or constant enough. “Repositioning a throat lozenge or breath mint,” was my second guess. I was about to settle on that as “my final answer” when the Speaker began sucking in the cheeks.

Ah ha! The I’ve-got-something-stuck-between-my-teeth, and it’s driving be crazy, response. With millions of people watching, picking the teeth is not an option. That leaves trying to suck the offending morsel out. In time the facial motions stopped. I presume the internal flossing worked; the motions did not recur. Lesson: Be careful what you eat before a public appearance, especially on television.

The vice president seemed more interested in seeing what else was going on than in focusing on the speech. In fact at one point he looked past the president directly into the camera. I though he was ready to give his own speech.  Perhaps he had sat through too many rehearsals.