Speak to Lead

Smile to Connect & Succeed

One of the best "tools" for connecting with people is a genuine smile.

Note, however, the word "genuine." In a 30-year study, researchers began by going through 141 photos in a Mills College (Oakland, California) yearbook, and marking those with more genuine smiles. Study participants were then contacted at ages 27, 43, and 52 and asked about their marriage and life satisfaction.

Those with genuine smiles were more likely to get and stay married, and to experience a greater sense of personal well-being. (A Genuine Smiles Goes a Long Way, Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D.)

Other studies suggest smiles may be one of the causes of success. Researchers who analyzed 225 studies involving 275,000 people have concluded that if there is a causation, it goes from smile to success. Genuine smilers tend to be fun, easy to work with, highly motivated, and willing to take on tough problems. A 2005 study published by the American Psychological Association suggests that this is what leads to their success.

So how can you obtain a meaningful smile? Here are 5 tips:

1. Cultivate your sense of humor. Funny things are happening all around us. We just need to know what to look for. I highly recommend you get...and use!...Jeanne Robertson's book, Don't Let the Funny Stuff Get Away.
2. Avoid smile killers. It's hard to smile when you're whining, for instance. (And conversely, it's hard to whine when you're smiling!)
3. Begin the day by deciding to be happy. Count your blessings. Look for the good in others. Be willing to laugh at yourself.
4. Practice. Some of us forget to smile. When you catch yourself frowning, lighten up.
5. Surround yourself with smilers. According to recent research, people who don't smile have a negative impact on both their friends and strangers. Grumpy persons can decrease your chances of happiness by nearly 10%; smiles can increase your happiness by the same amount.

So for positive connection and greater success, SMILE.

Communicate Instructions Accurately: 2 Rules to Ensure Speaker & Listener Are "On the Same Page"

Ever wondered why people didn't understand your instructions?

Ever been confused about what you were supposed to do when someone gave you instructions?

Perhaps the overview was left out.

Good rule when you're communicating directions, processes, procedures, instructions: Begin with an overview (including desired result), then go to specifics.

Good rule when you're listening to directions, instructions, etc.: If the speaker jumps right into the details, ask him or her to back up and give the overview.

I was reminded of these guidelines while holding an ice pack to my jaw, reviewing the invoice for two dental implants. An invoice for twice what

Media Training: Stand for Phone Interviews

For years I have encouraged clients to stand when doing a phone interview, for two reasons:

1. Standing--and often moving--enables you to project more energy in your voice. The reporter will perceive you as more interested in, and committed to, what you're saying.
2. Since most people don't stand when making calls, standing is a reminder that you are in an interview with a reporter, not chatting with a friend or colleague. You are more alert to staying on message.
   And now, after finding an old memo today while clearing out some files, I have a third reason:
3. You'll be able to react faster.

The memo was written by Andrea Meyer, a researcher for

Sound Bites: Beyond Media Interviews--Ways Sound Bites Can Sharpen Other Business Communication

I'm an unabashed, ardent, proud supporter of sound bites.

No flip-flopper here. I've been a sound-bitephile since before sound bite became a well-known (and much despised) term. One of my earliest posts on this blog (Sound Bites Get No Respect) detailed why sound bites are important in political discussion.

But sound bites have value far beyond politics. They sharpen communication, because they sharpen thinking. If you can't reduce your message to a sound bite, you don't have a message. At least not one ready to go to work for you.

Want to shorten your meetings? Have participants summarize their key thoughts in a sound bite before getting into the details of the discussion. It helps focus the discussion, and makes it easier for the discussion leader to keep everyone on topic.

Today, courtesy of a Google Alert for "sound bites," I discovered another non-media use for sound bites. In his blog, Drew's Marketing Minute, Drew McLellan describes an annual SWOT analysis of your business to "capture and communicate...the key issues your organization needs to keep its eye on over the next 12 months....These become the building blocks for your marketing tactics." Sound bites are a part of the process.

While you're over at his blog, click through to his previous post, "The Age of Conversation Is Off and Running," describing his book launch. 103 authors from 10 countries with 103 different perspectives and insights on the age of conversation. I ordered my copy immediately and am eager to see the diversity...and the overlap of thought. (Eager, but also willing to wait for a hard copy to be mailed to me. It's also available as an ebook, but I hate dislike hate reading books on a screen.)

Hampton’s Law Embraced by National Council of Teachers of Mathematics (NCTM)

A front page article in today’s Washington Post focuses on a new report from NCTM that attempts to solve a tough mathematical problem: too much math. It seems that as states and the feds have pushed for greater proficiency, the math curriculum has widened while mastery has weakened. Students have been exposed to lots of concepts, but aren’t able to use them.

NCTM's solution? Apply Hampton’s Law.

The article doesn’t specifically mention my law by name, but rest assured, that is what is being described (see the fifth paragraph of  the Post article). Those of you who have been clients should be able to recite Hampton’s Law in detail. (3 x 3 = 1 or 2 or 3; 9 x 1 = 0) But for the unfamiliar reader, the essence is this: Maximum communication is realized when the number of messages is kept to three, each being reinforced by memorable detail or actions and repetition.

Key point: If you want your listeners to remember and act upon what you say (during interviews, presentations, meetings, and when giving instructions), apply Hampton’s Law. 

Laugh to Last—Persuading and Preserving Through Humor

Holiday celebrations, like vacations, can be wonderful. But for many of us, when we return to work we realize the influx of issues needing attention did not take a vacation, and we soon feel like Lucy Ricardo trying to wrap the chocolates as the conveyer belt ever increases its speed.

In just such a state earlier this week, I took time out to read Humor in Speaking on Bert Decker’s blog, Create Your Communications Experience. (An excellent blog) In addition to his 5 tips for using humor, he includes a link to a KTVU-TV news feature about the health benefits of Laughter Yoga, a way to get the health benefits of laughter even if you don’t have a sense of humor. Be sure to watch. I laughed my way back to momentary sanity.

Wanting to know more about what I saw, I talked with health educator, speaker, and Certified Laughter Leader, Roz Trieber. Here are some of her comments: